Wednesday, November 16, 2011

I'm getting married!! No..really. This time it's for real.

He finally proposed. I, of course, said yes. And now I've found that planning a wedding totally SUCKS! I need help and ideas. Here's what I've got so far:

September 2012
Short Church Ceremony - no idea where
Red Barn Reception - pretty sure where (literally a red barn, that's not the name of a reception hall)
Lots of drinking, dancing, and fun.

Oh. Wait. There's more planning than that? Yikes!

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

My Un-wedding planning....

So I'm planning my wedding.....[cheers, clapping]

No. I'm not engaged yet...[tilted heads and confused looks]...but the way I figure it, why not be really prepared once it comes? That makes sense...right? Or am I just another one of those 30ish unmarried females who's freaking out over still being "single" and desperately needs something to grasp onto until the big question is popped. Yea, more likely the latter, but I don't care.

But I need help! I always thought that I knew exactly when I wanted to be married, and what it would look like. But when it comes down to it...I can't make a damn decision on anything. Summer, Fall, Spring? Indoors or Outdoors? And the colors....Jesus. I almost wish you were required to have specific colors. After seeing all of the inspiration boards out there, I want a wedding for each. Hey, Elizabeth Taylor practically did it (RIP).

I've been to enough weddings to know what I definitely don't want...but there are SO many cool things out there....help help help!

Send me your coolest ideas, things to stay away from, and all the inspiration in the world. I'm on mission.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Stinkitie Pinkities War Wounds

So I play kickball. I'm pretty sure I've mentioned that before.

Anyhow, most people I tell are intrigued by this. "Kickball??" they say. "As in elementary schoolyard with a big red ball, kickball??"  Yep. Just like that...only with beer.

It's by far one of the highlights of my week and I can't wait to play. I've become our team's pitcher (maybe because of my extensive bowling experience [cough cough] and history of black eyes from softball [great with pitching, not so good with catching]).

It seems more only because I'm apparently an easy target for line-drive kicks and it's better the ball take me out and roll around infield rather than be boomed into the outfield for people to chase. [Waaaiiitt a minute...they told me that "X" on my shirt was because I was the team captain!]

To prove what a team player I am....and how I continually sacrifice my body (and any hopes for an attractive bathing suit image) for the team, here's my latest battle scar:

Yes ladies and gents, that's my leg...and a lovely kickball mark from being pummeled with a line-drive on Monday (that bruise is already a few days old).

MVP status...here I come.

-Katy

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Save a horse, ride a fork lift??

Yes ladies and gents...I work in the horribly dirty, smelly, completely unglamorous industry of recycling. My job specifically, doesn't suck all that much since I'm in sales and get to travel and take people out to eat a lot...but the people that work in our scrap metal yard have quite the filthy day [cut to memories of Grandma showing me old black & white photos of coal miners with sooted faces].

So naturally, fashion isn't a thought. Well, for me it is...even though I have to wear steel-toed boots, my hard hat is Hot Pink. I thought I had it pretty cool, until I saw this hard hat today: (Yes, it's a cowboy hard hat)
Sorry ladies, this metal-recycling cowboy is married.



To Drew: Giddyup!
I'm still not sure whether it's super cool, or really really dorky, but it's damn blog-worthy.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Why laugh at yourself, when you can laugh at other people??

I've made a very important, necessary, (and immature) turning point with this blog.

Day in and day out I've been waiting for some awesome and interesting thing to happen in my life to where I can blog it and entertain my whopping 6 followers (Love you guys!), and any random people who accidentally end up on my blog page. [Cut to the ZERO blog posts I've made in the past 4 months - aka...my life is boring].

After major laughs last Friday while looking at 'awkward family photos' emails and just recently at the 'people of walmart' site....I've come to a realization: I'm WAY too stable to write about myself. Nothing overly funny, or cool, or embarrassing happens to me. And with that being said...change of direction!

Why talk about my boring life and the dumb things I do everyday when I can make fun of perfect strangers and the dumb things they do everyday?? Eureka!!...I think I'm onto something. After all....that's all those stupid reality shows are anyway. Everyone wants to see some American Idol (who can't sing) fall off the stage; or some Survivor contestant get eaten by a wild jungle animal. It's WAY more funny when it isn't us.

Now my goal....find something absolutely ridiculous to laugh at everyday and try to keep my loyal fans entertained. I don't care if that means driving into the ghetto or visiting WallyWorld (Walmart) more often. I've got door locks and pepper spray.

So this is all for your entertainment, World. Who knows...maybe I'll acquire some more fans? :)

Katy

Friday, January 7, 2011

"Hwpply Newr Weerr". Gee, Thanks Dick Clark!

Happy New Year! And I must lament, there's just no other tradition that I can think of than watching the Times Square ball drop at midnight...it's just "what you do". But seriously??? Dick Clark suited up and stiff as a ventriloquism doll, gurgling through his commentary?? Not cool.

I'm going to take the A-hole position on this and just tell it like it is. Dude...get off of television.

I mean sure...our New Year's Eve group had a few laughs at his expense, but wasn't it time to bow out gracefully after he celebrated what must have been his four hundred and twenty-third birthday? His stroke made him all but impossible to comprehend but yet still he sits with his spray-on tan and botoxed head counting down the seconds to the coming year: "12, 11, 10, 11...."

Wait. Did he just say 11 twice?? UUmm yea...Dick Clark. Time to retire.

Trust me...I'm not all that excited about Ryan Seacrest taking his place. He's faker than Jenny Lee. OOhh yea...I said it. (Go ahead, I'll wait while you google a picture of Jenny Lee). [Jeopardy theme music]

See what I mean? Yikes!

Isn't New Year's Eve all about leaving the old behind and starting new, clean, and fresh? Then why broadcast the event with a decrepit, saggy-faced, wrong-way counter? Next year's show will probably have Dick Clark filled with formaldehyde, and sticks glued to his wrists like one of Jim Henson's muppets. [Gasps] (Even I found that one harsh)

It's sad...and perhaps I'm being a tad abrasive. Dick Clark, I loved your work during your first century's tenure. Seriously, you're a Times Square jewel. But, please hang up your confetti, or microphone, or whatever it is you cherish from this event and leave the rest to Ryan. At least he can still count...I think.