Happy New Year! And I must lament, there's just no other tradition that I can think of than watching the Times Square ball drop at midnight...it's just "what you do". But seriously??? Dick Clark suited up and stiff as a ventriloquism doll, gurgling through his commentary?? Not cool.
I'm going to take the A-hole position on this and just tell it like it is. Dude...get off of television.
I mean sure...our New Year's Eve group had a few laughs at his expense, but wasn't it time to bow out gracefully after he celebrated what must have been his four hundred and twenty-third birthday? His stroke made him all but impossible to comprehend but yet still he sits with his spray-on tan and botoxed head counting down the seconds to the coming year: "12, 11, 10, 11...."
Wait. Did he just say 11 twice?? UUmm yea...Dick Clark. Time to retire.
Trust me...I'm not all that excited about Ryan Seacrest taking his place. He's faker than Jenny Lee. OOhh yea...I said it. (Go ahead, I'll wait while you google a picture of Jenny Lee). [Jeopardy theme music]
See what I mean? Yikes!
Isn't New Year's Eve all about leaving the old behind and starting new, clean, and fresh? Then why broadcast the event with a decrepit, saggy-faced, wrong-way counter? Next year's show will probably have Dick Clark filled with formaldehyde, and sticks glued to his wrists like one of Jim Henson's muppets. [Gasps] (Even I found that one harsh)
It's sad...and perhaps I'm being a tad abrasive. Dick Clark, I loved your work during your first century's tenure. Seriously, you're a Times Square jewel. But, please hang up your confetti, or microphone, or whatever it is you cherish from this event and leave the rest to Ryan. At least he can still count...I think.
