Can I call in 'Brain Dead"?

If you know me at all, you know that I'm extremely put together.

And that's not me gloating about being some sort of fashionable superwoman, it's my attempt of softening the gross fact that I'm ridiculously OCD about everything. I have list upon list for things (the one on my desk now is for Christmas Day brunch). I actually made a color coded spreadsheet for Christmas gifts this year, complete with functions totaling expenditures and cells changing colors as status' change between purchased, shipped, wrapped, etc. I have store coupons organized by expiration date. God I'm a dork...but I've got my shit together.

Until lately....

I'm not exactly sure what the issue is. I've been waking up with headaches, so worse-case scenario is a brain hemorrhage or something...but my beau seems to chalk it up to holiday stresses. This is my first Christmas with a "family", house, big family gathering, and children to Santa for....so I of course want it perfect. I started shopping before Halloween. (Yes, I realize there's more wrong with me than the OCD).

Anyhow...as of the past week I've been completely incapable of remembering things or forming intelligent thought, ok..let's be honest forming basic common sense thought. Let me list some of 'Katy's greatest "DUH" Moments' this past week:

* Just yesterday I was flipping out and tearing the house apart after I was sure that I lost my huge 2-month expense check from work. I was opening silverware drawers and the dishwasher (yea, it'll be in there, dummy) to find this check. I remembered having it, but couldn't even remember what day that was...  I began wondering the strangest things (notice how your brain...or maybe just my brain, immediately goes to the most absurd and improbable outcome in these scenarios). "I wrapped gifts this weekend." Could I have wrapped it in with someone's present? "I drove my car this weekend" Could it have been in the visor and flown out the window? (Not likely I'm sporting the window breeze in the 9 degree freezing December temps of Upstate NY).

* The previous morning I was a half-hour late for work because I couldn't find my car keys. Not in my purse. Not in my work bag. Not in my shoes, the dishwasher (not sure why I keep checking there), under the bed, the laundry... I was freaking out. I called my Mr. and told him to drive home and grab me because I wasn't going to be able to take my car due to having the one set of keys I own vanish. I even made him call the school and have the kids go through their bags in case I accidentally packed them in there. Seriously? What's wrong with me?

* And the best, and biggest "DUH/blonde" moment I've had in awhile puts me in my master bathroom while my Mr. and his daughter are watching TV in our bedroom. The bathroom door was closed because I was about to take a shower before bed. The shower's running, and I'm undressing to get in. Something catches my attention for a mere moment and before I know it I'm standing in the shower with my bra on. COME ON!!!!
I couldn't help but laugh hysterically at myself as I threw my sopping wet bra over the side of the shower curtain. Of course my Mr. and Magoo were banging on the door trying to figure out what happened.

Everything worked out despite my swearing the house was haunted with a trick-playing poltergeist. My expense check was in my office desk. My keys were in the bottom of my work bag. And my bra...well...it dried eventually.

I feel much better about things today...and stuff happens in 3's right?? So hopefully I'm in the clear for a while.

Ever have any of those moments?? Share!! I don't want to feel alone here in my brain dead holiday zone-out.

xo
Katy

Is that your bumper...or are you just happy to see me?

A big THANK YOU to the person who drew this 'not so impressive, but definitely recongnizable' phallus on the bumper of my car. Not only did I laugh my ass off when I saw it, but it made my damn day and I'm actually showing it off to people.

 I can only imagine myself as an actual man. I'd be flashing everyone! Although, technically I am.....(flashing everyone....not a man). Since this is on the rear of my poor Marley (yes, my car has a name) - everyone who drives behind me is flashed by this artistic dust-drawn rendering of a wiener. (Am I allowed to say wiener in my blog?) Wait...now I'm all confused....is it wiener? weiner? or weener?

Whichever way it's spelled....thank you to the artist inspired...you rock, and so do your bumper boners.

Glinda The Good Witch, at the Eleventh Hour

So I JUST found out that our office isn't doing just your standard 'dress up for Halloween if you feel like it' thing.....rather I was appointed the role of Glinda the Good Witch since apparently we're themeing the office this year to the Wizard of Oz. Fine with me, except it's Tuesday (I found out yesterday afternoon) and we're dressing for Friday.

HELP! What do I do? Let's consider a few factors - #1: There's no way a costume will be delivered by Friday if ordered online, and there's even a slimmer chance that I'll spend $50 on the costume itself and then $20 to have it overnighted. I like being participative, but c`mon. #2: Every costume shop is picked over, on top of not even having the costume to begin with. I ransacked maybe 6 stores yesterday and found every character from Dorothy, to a freakin' flying monkey, with no traces of Glinda ever being available. #3: At this point, anything I do is going to be a "Hail Mary" effort.

With all of that being said...here are what I find to be my best options -

*Option A: I have a pink satin gown that I wore to the Prom in like 10th grade still at my mother's. If I can manage to squeeze into that, I might be able to pull off a 'psuedo-Glinda/Miss America' look if I accessorize right. That is....if it fits.
*Option B: Or I can cross my fingers, try and locate a Thrift Shop Prom/Wedding dress, dye it pink, and pray it works. I've got an idea for the crown using vellum paper and lots of sparkly crap...and well, a wand is a wand...those are a dime a dozen. However, given my luck with this...I wouldn't be surprised if a shortage of wands occurred immediately after I post this.

Chances are, I might resemble Glinda somewhat if I just wrap whatever I end up in with toole and glitter...so it might not be too horrible....but how did I get stuck with the HUGE costume? Granted, I'm the only blonde in the office...but like any relatively elaborate costume, this will take some space to move in...and I BETTER NOT have any customer visits that day. Yikes.

Please supply me with any amazing, helpful ideas for this....or mail me any spare Glinda costumes you might have. I'll appreciate any help I can get.

I'll keep you updated as to how it all turns out.

PS: Now that this is over with...here's the final result:

This Woman's Work

Happy Friday Kiddos! I've been finding that I'm more of a reactive personality when it comes to this blog--I tend to wait until something really gets to me one way or the other before I'll write, only because I despise monotony. But I think Fridays have a neat affect on the general week-working population. People are happier with one last day to work and spend water cooler time talking about plans for the weekend. I think I spend a lot of my day looking ahead to what's to come in the next two. So maybe that's enough to start with:

I'm going to a cancer benefit on Saturday. Not some high-profile "Let's Cure Cancer, and maybe meet an ex pro-sports figure, while bidding through silent auction" benefit, but something much closer to real life. A childhood friend of my boyfriend's is having the event for his fiance. She's a cancer survivor of 3 times or something amazing like that, and has fallen from remission again only to start the battle all over. She must redo all chemo and radiation on top of needing a double hip replacement due to treatments essentially turning her bones to dust. Saturday's benefit is to help pay for it all - her insurance dropped her once they got the news.

Now I'd say I'm a pretty happy person, and can be a very 'the glass is half full' kinda gal....but how on Earth does one make it through something like that once, much less 3 and 4 times without hating the world and everyone in it? I've met Marla....she's amazing and so strong spirited. And I look at her and wonder "how"? I've been so blessed to be healthy that I can't imagine myself being nothing but a depressing mess through something like that. How does one not feel betrayed? Like you're constantly being sought and attacked? And then left for poverty by the institution whose sole purpose is to alleviate financial worry in times like this?

My heart bleeds for Marla, and everyone who's walked down a similar path. In a perfect world, only the worst would see these terrible things. I'm glad to be attending this event to support a cause that absolutely needs attention. I think an even larger celebration is due once she's kicked the big "C" yet again. :) Here's an amazing video from So You Think You Can Dance about cancer, specifically breast cancer. It's strength makes me cry every time I watch it.

This Woman's Work

It's only a pumpkin stem....

Okay, so it's only really been a day or so since I've no doubt depressed you all about how we're all "working for the man" and should have greater purposes and crap like that. Maybe it was the PMS talking.

I'm not sure what it is that makes one person see a day as a 'waste of time', a second see it as 'just another day', and a third see it as 'a gift'. Is it life experiences? The way we were raised? Something spiritual? Whatever the answer is, I'm determined to change my outlook. This is not my "lot in life". I'm not stuck anywhere....Life Is What You Make Of It. Dang Skippy!

Obviously this epiphany comes after some potentially event-changing news doesn't populate. But instead of dwelling on it, I've decided to move forward with gusto and kick ass at who I am and where I am in life.

I think it's extremely easy to get used to the way things are and take what you have for granted. Good thing that Thanksgiving is around the corner to put things back into perspective. I'm healthy (for the most part), have a job in the toughest of economies, have a new house with an amazing man who loves me (ring soon to follow)... life is damn good.

......................................

My boyfriend (forever to be known as "My Mr."), his two children (forever to be known as "Miss Magoo" and "Little Man Feffy"), and I went pumpkin picking last night for Halloween. There's nothing cuter than watching kids run through masses of pumpkins to find the perfect one to carve. That is, until they both pick pumpkins that weigh more than they each do, and can't carry them to the car. $30.00 and 3 pumpkins later (yes, I got myself a small one) we were set. Trust me, there's a point to this.

I picked my pumpkin as my Mom used to when I was a kid....by how cool the stem on top was. I mean, every pumpkin is going to eventually have a face, but the curly stem somehow tops it off just right. And that's exactly the pumpkin I picked last night. Until we got home....and all of the not so "cautious because we have pumpkins rolling around in my trunk" driving that the Mr. had done ripped off the amazing curly pumpkin stem!

I know for a fact that at some other point in my life, I would have thrown a hissy and been all pissed off about it. After all, that's the whole purpose for me having picked that one.....but now, it's only a pumpkin stem. I'm sure life will go on, and so will I. Who knows, maybe my pumpkin will be better without it.

And that's my point...at the end of the day....it's only a pumpkin stem.



A Case of the Mondays

God do I hate Mondays. The 1999 movie Office Space hit the nail on the head within the first few minutes of that flick...so funny, so true...which makes it so sad. I don't necessarily have a fat "Nina" sitting in the next cube over droning high-pitched accounts payable salutations, but my desire not to be at work is still there. Hence me blogging today...anything to take me somewhere else.

There's a guy that I work with who I go on a lot of outside sales meetings with. Sometimes the drives are 45 minutes long...and at first we struggled for conversation, but now I look forward to talking. I expressed my (let's use) 'uncertainty' about my position, and instead of the 'company man' response that I expected which I would have assumed to have tons of motivational cliches and pep talk crap, he told me to find something I really like. He said not to waste time on things I dislike or aren't comfortable with because sooner or later I'll wake up and find that I've spend 30 years unhappy.

It's good advice. I mean, think about it. Most people spend 8 hours or more a day at their jobs, 5 days a week. So if you include 7-8 hours of sleep a night, then you spend just as much time at work during the week than you do at home. How depressing.

Not that I dislike my co-workers, but to think that I spend just as many hours a day with them, as I do with my family/friends/loved-ones.....it's angering.

I know how it sounds..."how lazy can this woman be?", right? It's not that. The truth is, I think everyone needs time away from the permanent people in their lives, but it shouldn't be at the cost of your overall happiness. In this economy these days....all money is green, so get it where you can, but eventually there will be a time when your last few moments are upon you. My bet is you won't be thinking about pending work, or which bills are due, or career successes.

I guess my point is, I shouldn't wake up every Monday morning ten minutes before my alarm with a knot in my stomach. Is it possible to wake up with butterflies?

Is there anyone out there who really loves their job? What should I do to find my perfect match?

Hello World!

Okay...so here I am breaking through technology barriers and into the world of blogging. Sure, sure..I had to have my IT Professional super friend actually set this up for me, but I'm sure I'll figure out what the hell I'm doing eventually.

Honestly, I never thought I'd be behind the ball on anything...it's so funny how you lose touch with things. I used to look at my parents and think to myself "When did they stop paying attention? It's as if they know nothing about everything." Apparently growing uninformed coincides with growing old. Half of the things that I hear children talking about today just baffle me...Hell...it took me hours to truly understand the Silly Bands thing. Once I drew from my vast youth experience of jelly bracelets, slap bracelets, and hyper color t-shirts, I was finally able to grasp the latest adolescent trend.

Funny thing is, I see it from an adult's perspective now...which is a 'complete and total waste of money'. I don't have children of my own yet, rather I "co-parent" my boyfriend's two children, and it's absolutely hysterical to me the flashbacks I'm continuously getting of when I was a child and my parents were going through exactly what I am.

But enough about that,  you'll learn more about that part of my life inevitably. Which leads me to my initial target of conversation, right before I went on my "damn I'm getting old" tangent (which I'll do quite frequently). I was getting to my blog, and it's purpose. To be honest, it's cheaper than a shrink. But realistically, you'll read about my days and things that I love, hate, people I wish would die....ya know, the usual bullshit....whatever strikes me for the day as being important. I can't promise to write daily, as I am an active person with a full-time job, of which I'm constantly neglecting, but I'll be sure to keep things somewhat fresh.

I hope somewhere someone can read along and find something to relate to, sympathize with, or just enjoy and continue to come back. Welcome to my blog! I'm Katy...and I Did It.